Is your bottom heading south?

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If you’re anything like us, you have a love/hate relationship with gravity. We’re delighted that it keeps us tethered to Planet Earth, but less–than–thrilled at the tricks it plays on a once–pert body. Because our bits – and probably your bits – are almost certainly Heading South. (Although when it comes to backsides, the reality that your rear is sliding off the hips and making a break for your knees is happily not one that we are confronted with that often. Wasn’t it kind of The Creator to put our bottoms behind us …?)

But there are moments – we’re thinking changing room mirrors here – when the truth is inescapable. And it is only a small comfort that everyone’s bottoms are getting bigger: hip measurements are apparently an inch–and–a–half more than they were 50 years ago. (Ah, so we’re not the only ones asking ‘does my bum look big in this?’). On the plus side, we have good reasons to thank heavens for living in the 21st Century, when science (and Lycra) are able to transform our rear views from flab to fab…

First, here’s the cheat. The fast–track to a gravity–defying backside is via the lingerie department –the deployment of Lycra.(Which as far as most women are concerned is right up there with the iPhone and a SkyBox as life–enhancing technological breakthroughs of the modern age.) You know how your stomach disappears when you suck it in? Bottom–lifting lingerie does the same, gently contouring without you having to exert yourself. (Menfolk take note, however: bum–lifting underwear jostles with anti–wrinkle creams for first place on the top of the list of presents we’re insulted to receive. We’re perfectly capable of buying our own, thanks.) Not for nothing has the founder of Spanx become the world’s youngest female billionaire (check them out for the full bottom-lifting, thigh-sucking, waist-erasing selection). But remember: once you take them off, it all hangs out again, so… Read More…