Bad Behaviour

bad made of grass

I was minding my own business in Hyde Park, hoping I’ll never have a bench named after me, when a dog called Jekyll tried to rape me. His panting owner, whose red face made me reach for my SDSM, blamed me for his pooch’s bad behaviour. “Don’t encourage him,” Big Red shouted, like it’s my fault his pet is a rapist. There’s not much a blast of SDSM can’t cure but this victim blamer was inflamed with outrage so I didn’t waste my NIOD on him.

What kind of a weirdo calls his dog Jekyll? Names are important and that’s just not the right name for a sex offender. In China, people change their name when they want to change their luck. I was supposed to be called Vivien after the bi-polar beauty Vivien Leigh but my dad got drunk on his way to register my birth. He forgot the time. And the date. And the name. All he could remember after a night on the single malt was that I had been born in Grandfather Money’s bed; though Grandfather wasn’t in it at the time. The registrar preferred screwball comedienne Carole Lombard to mad, bad Vivien Leigh so my evil twin got to be Vivvy. Read More…

Weirdo Of The Week Award

Rolled jeans

Just another abnormal day in the life of a VH addict. Selfish Jean is threatening to appear with a tape measure and it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee; after the manservant makes it obvs. Of course at Addicts Mansions we drink Curcumin Latte with an Aduna Super-Cacao chaser. A similar high to so-last-century cocaine; without the risk of widening your beak until a family of five can move in up there with their furniture.

I lay back on my SilkSkin pillow, which keeps my hair Stemm smooth, while the manservant asked nosey-parker questions about my dreams. You know that nightmare when you’re running but never quite manage to escape the strange man who’s chasing you? I turn round and punch him in the face. Let the strange man be careful. Read More…

Healthy Scalp, Healthy Hair

Close up of scalp and hair

We think nothing of putting a lot of effort, time, and money on cuts, highlights, blow dries, buying the latest shampoos conditioners and styling products. Anything to avoid the dreaded bad hair day. Yet as any trichologist or hairdresser will tell you, glossy, shiny, voluminous hair is borne of a healthy scalp and, holistically thinking, a healthy body too. Of course when we look in the mirror, we’re dealing with the superficial and the right styling products are crucial to get our hair behaving and swooshing in all the right ways, but they’re similar to make-up in the way that they enhance what’s already there. Read More…

October Newsletter

october-newsletter

Welcome to the October newsletter where for the second month running we globally launch a new brand; the brand is Stemm, it is another concept from DECIEM, it is another journey and once again it changes everything. We also launch the third yešti product within NIOD and we do an update on The Ordinary. We take another look at Psychobiotics with the launch of an exciting new supplement and there is news of a product death, well it is really a semi-death and I think it will surprise many of you. Also on this newsletter, a new product launch from Sarah Chapman, it comes with a gift, but for now let’s do Stemm:

Stemm

Three products. Three products that will change everything again. In concept Stemm carries the same message as NIOD, it is extraordinary and extraordinary is rather rare. As with NIOD, Stemm launches on a health platform and as with NIOD the Stemm experience may leave you pretty astounded because all three products are completely sensational and I actually cannot and will not live without them. Together with Brandon, I write and give you the Stemm Collection: Read More…